Has someone casually made a hurtful remark about your weight? Maybe someone said you should probably skip dessert (you know, because you’re fat)? Or maybe someone told you to take cover because you’d blow away in a storm (because you’re just too skinny)? Then, of course, they laugh because it’s a joke. You should learn to take a joke. Whether you’re a woman or not, you can be subjected to these mean-spirited jokes. However, my significant other has not had nearly as many of these remarks directed at him as they have been directed at me. Because—let’s get real here—people like judging women’s bodies. Log in to Twitter or Instagram and many of the comments about body shape are almost exclusively directed at women. The new trend is people commenting about their concern for your health. Being fat is unhealthy. Being too skinny is unhealthy. Unless they have a medical degree and are your physician, they have no clue about your health. (And even medical researchers can’t agree on what’s considered a healthy body weight.) We know that eating McDonald’s five days in a row or not eating at all for several days is unhealthy. We know that it’s important to move our bodies and feed our gut healthy foods. We all know this. We don’t need reminding. But there is always someone that just has to remind you anyway. Your body weight is no one else’s business. It’s easy to tell someone off on social media. It stings when people you love and care about constantly comment on your weight. I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that I can recognize the difference between someone who is genuinely concerned about my health and someone who is obsessed with their own definition of beauty. In talking to other women, these comments usually come from mothers, aunts, or grandmothers. Instead of feeling insulted or hurt, when a comment about your body shape is thrown at you from a family member, consider why. Is it genuine concern or are they projecting their own neuroses on you? Maybe they come from another era when it was fine and dandy to sexualize and publicly judge women for their appearances? Or maybe they had their own negative experiences with weight and beauty and they don’t even recognize the hurtfulness of their comments? It’s hard to both accept and love your body while also being exposed to negativity. We are all works in progress. Some of us choose to learn and grow. I’m learning to brush off negativity. I’m learning to be at peace with myself. I’m also learning to understand that we all grow differently and at different times.